Innocence

by Dean Koontz
352 pgs

After the last two books by Koontz that I read (The Taking & Life Expectancy) I swore off reading anything else by him again. I don't know if the break up was his fault, or mine, but everything about those two rubbed me the wrong way. The characters behaved like they had mental deficiencies, the dialogue was pubescent, and the story in general was unintentionally humorous. I decided then that I wasn't going to waste any more time nor money on his books. When Innocence came out and I read the summary, it was kind of like bumping into an old girlfriend and thinking "I wonder if we could make it work now." So I decided to consider the past few years a trial separation and I bought the book.

It's a dystopian story about two social outcasts. One, Addison, lives his life alone under the streets of the city due to his horrific and never described physical appearance, an appearance that has caused violent reactions by those who have seen him. The other, Gwyneth, lives alone due to her phobias. Their paths cross late one night in the deserted city library when Addison sees Gwyneth fleeing from a man trying to attack her.

I'm at a loss to try to figure out what happened to the man who wrote Intensity, The Watchers and so many other good books. My working theory right now is that he died several years ago and his estate hired someone who completed an online creative writing course to continue Koontz's literary legacy. It's never a good idea to get back together with someone after you break up with them. It doesn't take long for you to remember why you ended the relationship and figure out that you're just wasting your time and money again.

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

Life Expectancy

Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz

I used to be a devout reader of Dean Koontz's books. The first couple that I read were Watchers and Intensity and I really enjoyed both. In fact, Intensity, is probably the most intense book I've ever read. Go figure, huh? I then went on and read several more of his books, but none of them ever reached the bar set by those first two. In fact, as time went on, I began to lose interest in reading his books and would only occasionally pick one up off the discount rack at the bookstore to give it a try. A few years ago I read The Taking, which was horrible and led me to stop buying his books altogether. But I still had this one left on the bookshelf which I inexplicably felt compelled to eventually read.

Life Expectancy was awful. It confirmed for me the wisdom in not buying or reading any more of Koontz's books. The plot was ridiculous and the dialogue was painful. As I suffered through it, the dialogue repeatedly reminded me of the solitary lifestyle I think most authors must live. I would imagine some of them don't get out much and interact with other human beings. I'm almost positive now that Koontz hasn't left his home in over a decade and doesn't own a phone or a television. No one talks the way he made his characters talk in this one.

It's about a man named Jimmy Tock, whose grandfather, on the day Jimmy was born and he himself died, predicted five dark dates in his grandson's life. As Jimmy goes through his life, and those dates approach one by one, sure enough something terrible happens. Here's the kicker, all those dates involve a homicidal, maniacal clown. Eat your heart out Dickens, that's true literary brilliance.

Inexplicably, the majority of the Amazon reviews of this one give it five stars. I don't know whether it's me or everyone else that's wrong, but I'm leaning toward it being everyone else.

★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆